Contents
Preface: Having it all ix
Part One: You only have ten seconds to show you're a somebody
The incredible, inescapable, unique essence of you I
1 The flooding smile 5
2 Sticky eyes 9
3 Epoxy eyes 14
4 Hang by your teeth 17
5 The big-baby pivot 20
6 Hello old friend 25
7 Limit the fidget 29
8 Hans's horse sense 33
9 Watch the scene before you make the scene 37
Part Two: What do I say after I say 'hello'?
Small talk, your verbal welcome mat 41
10 The mood match 44
n Prosaic with passion 48
12 Always wear a Whatzit 52
13 Whoozat? 55
14 Eavesdrop in 57
15 Never the naked city 59
16 Never the naked job 64
17 Never the naked introduction 67
18 Be a word detective 69
19 The swivelling spotlight 72
20 Parroting 74
21 Encore! 78
22 Ac-cen-tu-ate the pos-i-tive 82
23 The latest news ... don't leave home without it 84
Part Three: How to talk like the big boys 'n' girls
Welcome to the human jungle 87
24 What do you do - NOT! 89
25 The nutshell resume 92
26 Your personal thesaurus 97
27 Kill the quick 'me, too!' 101
28 Comm-YOU-nication 104
29 The exclusive smile 109
30 Don't touch a cliche with a ten-foot pole III
31 Use jawsmith's jive 113
32 Call a spade a spade 118
33 Trash the teasing 120
34 It's the receiver's ball 122
35 The broken record 125
36 Big shots don't slobber 127
37 Never the naked thank you 130
Part Four: How to be an insider in any crowd
What are they all talking about? 133
38 Scramble therapy 135
39 Learn a little Gobbledygook 139
40 Baring their hot button 143
41 Read their rags 146
42 Clear 'customs' 149
43 Bluffing for bargains 153
Part Five: Why, we're just alike!
We're like peas in a pod 159
44 Be a copycat 161
45 Echoing 164
46 Potent imaging 170
47 Employ empathizers 173
48 Anatomically correct empathizers 175
49 The premature we 179
50 Instant history 182
Part Six: The power of praise, the folly of flattery
Praise reappraised 185
51 Grapevine glory 187
52 Carrier pigeon kudos 189
53 Implied magnificence 192
54 Accidental adulation 194
55 The killer compliment 196
56 Little strokes 199
57 The knee-jerk wow! 202
58 Boomeranging 205
59 The tombstone game 209
Part Seven: Direct dial their hearts
How to be a hit in another show 213
60 Talking gestures 215
61 Name shower 218
62 Oh wow, it's you!' 220
63 The sneaky screen 224
64 Salute the spouse 226
65 What colour is your time? 229
66 Constantly changing outgoing message 232
67 Your ten-second audition 236
68 The ho-hum caper 239
69 'I hear your other line' 241
70 Instant replay 243
Part Eight: How to work a party like a politician works a room
The politician's six-point party checklist 247
71 Munching or mingling 251
72 Rubberneck the room 253
73 Be the chooser, not the choosee 255
74 Come-hither hands 259
75 Tracking 262
76 The business card dossier 266
77 Eyeball selling 269
Part Nine: Little tricks of big winners
The most treacherous glass ceiling of all 275
78 See no bloopers, hear no bloopers 277
79 Lend a helping tongue 280
80 Bare the buried WIIFM 282
81 Let 'em savour the favour 285
82 Tit for (wait ... wait) tat 288
83 Parties are for pratter 290
84 Dinner's for dining 293
85 Chance encounters are for chitchat 296
86 Empty their tanks 298
87 Echo the EMO 301
88 My goof, your gain 304
89 Leave an escape hatch 306
90 Buttercups for their boss 309
91 Lead the listeners 312
92 The great scorecard in the sky 315
A final word: Your destiny 319
Notes 322
Select bibliography 325
About the author 335